Habits of Mind

Daily Reflection
Our minds seem to have this bad habit of making immediate judgments. We see a mother shouting at a small child in a store and we think, "wow, she really shouldn't shout at her child like that; she isn't a very good mother." Or, my neighbor is always banging around in his garage at 11:30pm when I am trying to get to sleep and he should really be more mindful of others. He should change his habits. He is inconsiderate. Notice how the mind is assigning a meaning to another person's actions. This happens very quickly, and most of the time, we are unaware of it. This is why yoga is such an important practice. The practice of yoga can help us slow down our thinking, notice our thinking and become more aware of these automatic habits of our minds. Yoga can help us to stop making assumptions about others and to stop judging their actions so quickly. It can make our thoughts more neutral. For example, "isn't it interesting that the mother is shouting or isn't it interesting that my neighbor is doing something in the garage at 11:30pm. I wonder what it is?" Helping our minds react in a more neutral way can lead to greater compassion with others and better relationships. No one wants to be judged.

In your journal today write down 3 examples of situations in which you judged another's behavior very quickly, without thinking about it. As you go throughout your day, notice this habit of mind as you encounter each experience. Write down the results. What was the experience? What did your mind tell you? Now, take a step back and change this to a more neutral event. Replace what your mind tells you with, "isn't it interesting that...." What has this exercise told you about yourself and your habits of mind?

Swami K

How We Treat Others

Daily Reflection
Whether you are having a good day or bad day or something in between, today I want you to think about every encounter you have with others. Carry a small notebook with you and take a few brief notes each time you have an exchange even if it is just to smile at someone

In your journal record all of your encounters and your reactions. Were your thoughts positive, were they negative, were they kind or aggressive, did you show caring and compassion or frustration? Tomorrow make each encounter positive whether you want to or not and notice how much better your day goes.


Swami K

Suffering

Daily Reflections
There are a few people in my life right now that are suffering. It is mental suffering rather than physical and the suffering is due to changes that have taken place in their lives. I find myself waking up each day asking - are they still suffering? How can I help ease their suffering? As compassionate givers, we want to help others that are suffering but we tend to want to solve their problems for them. What they really need is for us to just listen and to be there to support them through the pain. This can be very challenging for us to accept, particularly if the suffering goes on for a long time. What we have to remember is that they are exactly where they need to be in their lives at this moment. They are learning something that will help them move on to the next stage in their lives.

In your journal today reflect on how you approach others that are suffering. Do you give them advice, tell them what to do, listen, be there, get frustrated? What approach best works when you are suffering? Do you prefer it when people try to help solve your problem, when they just listen?

Swami K

The Gifts of Life

Visiting for the First Time? Read Me First

Perhaps one of the most important parts of a strong spiritual practice is the practice of tarka or reflective journaling. Reflection upon your inner and outer life is essential if you wish to progress along the path. These reflections on your life can help you see your mind more clearly. Your relationship to yourself, the world, and others is revealed in each journal entry. We can sometimes be blinded by our own beliefs or trapped in a cycle of thinking that is unhealthy for us.

Tarka can help us to illumine the way before us, discard old beliefs, and change our attitudes and ways of thinking.

This blog is designed to help you reflect upon your life and examine your mind so that you may travel the path of enlightenment with greater ease and harmony.

Set aside a little time each day to write in your journal and respond to the prompts in the blog.

The benefits of a strong tarka practice will reveal themselves over time, particularly if you take some time out each month and reread what you have written in your journal. You will find patterns in your life and your examination of these patterns will help you make the changes in your life that you are striving for. The wisdom you gain will help you live the life you seek.

Daily Reflection and Journaling Prompt

What you have done in the past does not matter. Every day is a great gift that you can choose to use wisely and harmoniously.

What will you do today to add to the bounty of life?

Swami K

Day 6 - Wherever you go, there you are

Today's Tarka Practice

Wherever you go, there you are. You are stuck with yourself and so you might as well practice the art of loving yourself. In order to grow along this path, you need to forgive yourself, stop criticizing yourself, and be gentle with yourself. We usually tend to be very hard on ourselves and fairly over critical. We get angry at ourselves easily and then we stew in this anger. These negative thoughts can harm you and your practice. Instead, you need to step outside of this habit and be more kind to yourself.

In your journal, reflect on a time in which you were angry with yourself. It could be for something you did or the way you treated someone else. It could be for something you wanted to accomplish but didn't because you were too afraid to try it. It could be something you regreted not doing in your life.

Remember this time and record it in your journal. Think about why it made you angry. Think about what hot buttons it pressed for you. Think about how this anger hindered rather than helped you. Now, every time you think of this event in your life, replace it with something you like about yourself, something more positive. Be compassionate towards yourself like you are to others in need of compassion.

Day 11 - The Way We Experience Love

Today's Tarka Practice
To begin today's reflections I have another story to share. This story comes from my own personal journal and talks about my meditation experience in the Zen tradition. This was before I became a student of Kriya yoga and the writing is from about eight years ago. After re-reading this story in my own journal, it struck me how many great lessons are still present. This was a writing about love.
And the story begins...

The faint scent of cedar wood filled the room. Eyes closed, I carefully observed the proper form of the Soto Zen meditation tradition. As my breath eased in and out of my body, I used breath control and intention to push the air deliberately towards my feet. I was focused and felt calm and peaceful until my cat, Egypt, started rubbing her head lovingly against my hand, begging for attention. I did not reach out to pet her; instead, I tried to maintain my locus of control. In order to train my mind, my will, it was essential to maintain proper form. Her rubbing became more insistent, and I felt the hives begin to grow and itch on the back of my hand. They itched like mad, but I refused to move and break form. Again, I used my breath to try to forget the itching sensation that was now cascading up my wrist and forearm. She would not leave me alone, and I was getting very irritated. I did not set out to make irritation the central focus of this meditation. Yet, I sat there still, irritated and itchy. She was not trying to irritate me; she was only seeking love. This love came to me without warning and was not what I expected it to be. I thought to myself, love is often like this. We have expectations about the form it will take and who it will be with. We make judgments about the way we wish it to be, and when it does not meet our expectations, we become irritated. This irritation actually blocks us from being able to receive love. We often want love to come to us on our terms and only when we decide we want it; we want to control it instead of just opening ourselves up and letting it happen. When others demand love from us during inconvenient times, such as during meditation, or while we are busy working on a project, or watching our favorite TV show, we don't notice it; we actually push love away, get angry and then wonder why our partners are irritated, hurt, or angry. Love can be very demanding. When those who seek only to be in our presence approach us, what we need to do is to stop, to listen, to awaken, to pay attention, become fully present in the moment and ask ourselves what is going on here? When others are "begging" for our attention, it is because we have not been giving it. If we tend our relationships as if they were a flower garden, if we nurture them with care and water them regularly, the petals will slowly open and grow towards the light. Instead of acting and reacting, we can just sit openly, listen silently, and awaken to what is being offered here. It is caring, compassion - it is generosity. My cat gave up for a bit, moved away, and sat next to me quietly purring. We rested comfortably in each other’s presence. Neither of us had to do anything. No action needed to be taken. Both of us were able to offer each other love and both of us were open to receive it. Love does not need to be demanding if we are awake. Love moves through us as freely as our breath.

In your journal today, I want you to open yourself to love. As you move through your day, think about your own encounters with love and the effects love has on your state of mind.

How many times did you feel love enter your life today? How did you approach it (did you receive it easily, get irritated, close yourself off, etc.)

Just notice all of your feelings and thoughts surrounding love.

Day 13 - Your Conversation with Life

Today's Tarka Practice
Life is a dialogue with the self, others, and the world. Each of these entries in your journal is your conversation with life. These conversations are not complete, and they will never be complete. All they can do is to give you a snapshot of what you are thinking during one moment. Just as a photograph represents an exact slice of time so do your writings and reflections. Therefore, each entry will build on another entry. As you write, you will find that your thoughts change. When you engage in conversations with others, your thoughts change. As you have new experiences, your thoughts change. Your thoughts breathe with each passing moment, and you will often end up somewhere completely different from where you started. The message here is really this - don’t get too attached to your thoughts or to your conversation with life, for everything is impermanent and will change.

In your journal today, write about impermanence and how each moment passes. Reflect on old thoughts that you don't believe in anymore. For example, maybe last year you ate meat and this year you don't or maybe you were a vegetarian last year and this year you are not. Notice how you feel when you discover that thoughts are fleeting and are of little importance. Does this make you happy, distressed, peaceful?

Day 23 - Taking Care of Yourself

Today's Tarka Practice

We often don’t take good care of ourselves. We tend to work long, hard hours, put others before ourselves, sleep less than 8 hours a night to catch up on our to-do lists, and as a result, we are exhausted and irritable. The problem is this – by exhausting ourselves in this way, we can’t be fully present for others. If we are tired and irritated, we are more likely to yell at others, act out of frustration, be quick to anger and it is very difficult to listen to what someone is saying to us. Concentration and focus are difficult when we are so busy that we don’t have time to take care of ourselves.

 

For this week’s journal entry, I want you to reflect on how well you think you take care of yourself. How much time do you dedicate to your own personal needs and interests? How much sleep are you getting? Do you have enough relaxation time set aside in your day?

 

After answering these questions, I want you to give yourself permission to take better care of yourself this week. Just for one week, see what you can do to make time in your schedule for you. If you have a hard time finding time in your life right now, just set aside 15 minutes to begin. If you can set aside an hour for yourself, that is even better. An hour a day would be superb. After taking care of you first for a week, write down what you experienced in your journal. Did you find you were less irritable? Was it easier to reach out towards others in understanding? Easier to listen and help others? These are the benefits of this practice.